Thursday, April 19, 2012

What Not to Wear vol. 5

Do you go to the gym? You should. I do, that’s how I keep this sculpted body (seriously, you could grate parmesan on my abs). But there’s a lot I don’t like about my gym. There’s tools pumped full of steroids who wear wife-beaters. There’s kids who sit on the machines watching ESPN. But you know the biggest problem? THESE:
FiveFingers shoes: $110 to any idiot willing to buy them
These shoes are ridiculous. At best, they’re stupid looking (in my opinion). At worst, they’re “heinous” (in the exact words of every girl I asked for this post). 
The idea behind them is to create a more natural, barefoot feel on the foot, which is supposedly healthier (Although I don’t agree, because I’ve drunkenly run down the street a time or two in my day and my feet always hurt the next day). These shoes specifically (Vibram FiveFingers) claim to encourage “a more natural forefoot strike during running, but also allow the foot to move and work in a completely natural way.” Sounds great, but in terms of comfort, I really don’t see how they can be much better than these:

New Balance 574: $60

Or anything on this website, any of which is a much more stylish, much more appropriate choice for the gym/exercise/walking in public. Because you know what? Ass-less chaps are comfier than wearing underwear AND pants. But for the sake of my dignity, I throw on a pair of each every day. You don’t have to sacrifice style for function. 

More news as it develops (and if you need help picking out a new pair of gym sneakers),


  1. Suggestion for volume 6: jeans in the gym.

  2. Absolutely. I've seen plenty of people wearing these too, and I almost feel obliged to buy them a pair of athletic shorts. Besides, wouldn't jeans be uncomfortably hot at the gym?