Friday, July 20, 2012

What Not to Wear vol.9

I understand the science behind sports jerseys. Sort of. Their comfortable. They breathe well. They wick away sweat and protect you from turf-burn.

Check my logic for a sec though. You wouldn’t wear a suit to the pool, right? No, you’d wear a swimsuit, because they’re lightweight and quick-drying. They may even show some bulge in just the right places (although really, they shouldn’t. No one wants to think you’re smuggling summer sausage). 
A swimsuit is suited to the pool. Shit, it’s designed for it
So if a swimsuit is lightweight and dries easily (which is the great for ill-aiming urinators), wouldn’t it be ideal to wear around all the time? Answer is, no, dipshit, it wouldn’t. Like I said, a swimsuit is designed for the water. You’d look silly wearing one anywhere else.
Similarly, as a sports jersey is designed for playing actual sports, only during those occasions is wearing one acceptable. Let’s stop the parade of ill-fitting jerseys to bars, bbqs, and the like. If you’re not on the field/track/pitch, it doesn’t really make sense to wear one. You might think you’re showing “team spirit,” but really all you generally show is that A. You eat too much stadium food, and B. You’re a jackass.

I wrote this while wearing a Munster Rugby jersey, but writing is a sport. And I’m the Mike Jordan of it.

Pictures-source, source

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