Thursday, February 2, 2012

Less Money, Less Problems

If your wallet makes it look like you’ve got three butt cheeks, you need to trade it in for something more slim. A bulky wallet, stuffed to the brim with receipts, business cards, and condoms is tacky, and it messes with your body outline (which you want to appear sleek, not lumpy). 
A crammed wallet is also unnecessary. You really only need some cash, an ID, and a card or two to survive. Take those business cards and receipts and put them somewhere where you’ll actually need them (say, your office). House your leftover necessities in a much cooler, slim wallet, like the Burberry one I own here:

Be sure to keep a condom. You know, just in case.
These wallets are great because they don’t cramp your ass if you’ve got them in your back pocket on a casual night, but it can also slide just as easily into an interior coat pocket. 

For your cash, go with a money clip. A money clip is a sexier and more socially acceptable version of the money-rolls drug dealers and low-level mafiosos tend to favor.

Money clips abound in stores and on the Internet. As always, stay classy with it. When you’re buying a girl a drink (which you should be doing), the cash will speak for itself. Keep the clip plain, neutral, and understated. Check out the vintage one my grandfather gave me:

Yes, I went to the bank to get a $100 bill specifically for this picture. What can I say, I want to look cool.
If you can and if you’re interested, now is a good time to look into the vintage market. I’ve never been one for vintage clothes shopping, because it weirds me out when I think about all the gross stuff someone might have done to that blazer/shirt/pair of socks. But it’s supposedly a great place to find good items on the cheap (if you have the patience and luck to sift through enough aisles to find something). If you’re wanting to shop vintage clothing, check out these articles with helpful tips: 

It’s pretty hard to screw up a money clip, and chances are you can find a cool one with character at your local vintage/thrift hotspot. Vintage pieces are often inspiring because of their history and uniqueness. A money clip on its own is rare, but I’m confident that no one will ever pull out one like mine. It’s a great conversation piece, and I’ll cherish it because of the familial memories tied to it. 
Here’s some tips on using a money clip I’ve discovered through my own trial-and-error process:
 Don’t overstuff it. A money clip can break, so decide how much money you’ll need before going out, then try your best to consolidate bills. A good starting formula is $100- one $50, one $20, two $10, one $5, five $1.
 Keep smaller bills towards the middle of the folded wad in your money clip, and larger bills towards the outside. This is not so you can look like you're "gettin' paper." Bills in the middle are easier to pull out, and you’ll likely use smaller bills more often (though you could just unclip the whole thing and sort through it, if that works best for you).
 I was once robbed in Vegas, and luckily had a $20 tucked neatly into my wallet that escaped being stolen (the guy was no Danny Ocean). Moral of the story- diversify your holdings. That same trick might save you someday.  

More news as it develops,

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